Bullying can take many forms including:
• Being physically hurt (e.g. hitting, pushing, kicking or pinching)
• Things being damaged or stolen
• Lies or rumours being spread
• Cyberbullying (bullying that takes place online), which can take may forms such as abusive messages or posting nasty information about a person online
• Teasing or name calling
• Being left out or ignored
• Being made to do things.
This video from the Anti-Bullying Alliance explains what bullying is in under a minute
Why do people bully?
Bullies need a target. They often feel bad about themselves and use bullying as a way to cover up their own unhappiness or protect themselves from others making them feel bad.
If your child or young person is bullied it is not their fault or your fault. It’s because of a problem the bully has and how bad they are feeling.
For some parents, learning your child is being bullied can bring back bad memories of your own experiences. If this is happening for you take care of yourself and talk to someone you trust.
Things to look out for if you are worried that your child is being bullied:
- They may not want to go to school or they may not want to take part in particular lessons such as PE
- Feeling unwell, tummy pains and headaches
- Injuries or bruises
- Changes in their mood such as becoming angry or withdrawing from friends and family
- Changes in sleeping and eating habits
- Damaged or lost clothes or belongings, such as pencil cases or PE kits
- Appearing upset after using things like their mobile phone or tablet.
These behaviours could have other causes, so it's important you talk to your child to find out what is going on for them.
Often it helps to have a chat while you are doing something else like walking the dog or washing up together. This can help your child to feel more comfortable and able to talk. You could say that you have noticed a change and you were wondering if everything is okay with them.
Be aware of your own emotions if they are being bullied. Take the child or young person's lead on how they want to deal with the bullying.
If your child tells you they are being bullied:
- Listen and let them tell their story in their own way
- Reassure them that talking to you was the right thing to do
- Stay calm
- Tell your child that it's not their fault that they are being bullied
- Remind them that lots of people get bullied and the problem is about the bully
- Agree with your child what you will do next and involve them in making this decision
- Ask them to talk to someone they trust and to report every time they feel bullied
- Keep a record of what is happening
- Talk to your child’s school
- Help your child find activities which help them feel better
- Remind your child that fighting back is not the answer
- Talk to them about keeping safe online.
If your child or young person is school age then have a look at the school website to view their 'Anti Bullying Policy'. This will tell you what support or guidance may be available to you as a parent.
Have a look at Norfolk County Council's Anti-Bullying information if you need further support.
Reading Well for young people
Books about mental health for 13 to 18 year olds, with advice and information about issues like anxiety, stress and OCD, bullying and exams.
All Shelf Help books can be reserved for free from any Norfolk library, or online by clicking here. The books are available to borrow for up to six weeks.
Who Can Help?
You can contact the Healthy Child Programme by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520631590. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.
If you are 11-19 you can text ChatHealth on 07480635060 for confidential advice from one of our team.