When a child feels overwhelmed it means that they feel too many thoughts and feelings to the point that they can't go about their usual activities. Overwhelm is a strong emotion that causes a flood of feelings and stress to their bodies.
You might notice your child:
Imagine that everyone has a bucket in their head, filled with thoughts and worries. You can start to understand how children's brains can fill up with each new challenge and experience they come across each day.
At times, the bucket may overflow, which represents what happens when a child experiences feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, we need to use activities and strategies to try to put 'holes' in the bucket to give the child some extra space to cope with what will be happening in the future and give them the skills to be able to manage their feelings as they get older.
This is explained very well as part of our Positive Behaviour Support Course for families. Although the content of this video is directed at children with additional needs, the principles and practical advice is useful for all families.
There are some common behaviours which can be useful to recognise as hints that your child may be feeling overwhelmed.
Withdrawing to a quiet space
If your child is withdrawing from people and moving to quiet spaces it may show that there is too much going on in that environment for them to feel comfortable. Creating a safe space for them to escape to will help them be able to calm themselves and deal with these feelings.
Having outbursts of emotion
When your child is showing big emotions like explosive anger, or crying uncontrollably and their reaction is disproportionate to the event, it can be a sign that they are overwhelmed. Meltdowns and tears could be the result of bottling up emotions over periods of time.
Being hyperactive
Children who are highly sensitive can bounce off the walls when overstimulated, so if they become hyperactive there is a chance it could be a sign of overwhelm. Channelling excess energy into activities or sports at the end of the day can work to release bottled-up energy.
Frequent headaches or tummy pains
When worried due to overwhelm, children may be hyper-aware of their bodies and it can be more common for them to experience tummy pains or headaches.
Struggling at school
Children can find it difficult to concentrate and focus on their school work when they feel overwhelmed, which over time can lead to periods of struggle at school. If you find your child having overwhelming feelings at school regularly, it can be useful to talk to your child about their day and explore which parts might be troubling them, before speaking to their teacher to see if any adjustments are possible.
Children can struggle with their feelings at times, so managing their emotions is part of natural child development. When your child is overwhelmed they will need your help and reassurance to know that everything will be ok.
Using any chance to talk about how other people feel and act can give your child a better understanding of how they can manage their own feelings. You could talk about TV programmes, the people you see out and about or stories from nursery or school.
Playing pretend games with your child to give them a chance to act out their feelings in different situations can help them to organise their thoughts.
Using sentence starters and a feelings wheel can help to give younger children some support to be able to express how they are feeling.
You can contact the Healthy Child Programme by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520 631590. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.
You can also contact your GP, who can help you access support.
If you are 11-19 you can text ChatHealth on 07480 635060 for confidential advice from one of our team.
For 11–25 year olds Kooth is a free, confidential and safe way to receive online counselling, advice and emotional well-being support.
Childline - Children and young people under 19 can call 0800 1111 for free support.
Young Minds Parents Helpline - Call 0808 802 5544 for free Mon-Fri from 9.30am to 4pm.
The Wellbeing Service provides one-to-one support, counselling and courses in Norfolk & Suffolk for anyone aged 16 and over. You can self-refer through their website.
To speak to other Norfolk parents and carers, you can join our online community forum below.
